my head hurts, my feet stink...

....And I don't love Jesus.
(or "why I require adult supervision")

Talk about the morning after the night before, sheesh.
So as it happened, my lovely wife decided after picking up the kids to go see her sister for the evening, have a sleep over and come back in the morning.
"Alllllright!" thinks me and immediately make plans with some of my more fun yet less responsible friends for an evening of merriment and frivolity.

Que intro scene from the move "The Hangover"

We looked good - clean clothes, brushed teeth, a total class act.
(interesting to note that now I vape, a great deal of prep time is taken up by deciding which mod or mods, which tank or tanks to take with me...... I digress)
Arriving at our first stop, a vape friendly habitat we set in to make plans, lubricating the creative process with the first (of many.....so so so so many) round of drinks.
We drank, we vaped, we played pool (free on Friday nights!) we completely forgot to make any plans.
We also drank.
Quite a lot as I recall.
About an hour or 3 later, we decided that we should move on, and recognizing the danger of free pool, moved outside to the smoking lounge to discuss options free of the distractions.
(Apart from free pool, Friday nights is also lingerie waitress night)
Drinks in hand, or hands, or in one case shoved down the front of trousers to free the hands up for holding more drinks, we had a vape and were about to plan on next moves when the inevitable conversation started...
"Whats that? Those things really work? why dont ya just harden up and have a proper smoke?"
amiable bunch we are we answered any and all questions, gave some advice and made some recommendations.... during this time a round of Chicken parmas showed up along with more drinks.
We ate.
We drank.
We vaped.
We stopped kidding ourselves that we were going anywhere else, and settled in for the night, a mere 3-4 hours after we arrived.

Then disaster.
Battery died.
During my prep time it would seem that I had wasted too much time in all the "getting clean clothes on" stage and not enough time in the "which mod and spares time" - the irony is mine was not the first batt to die, and I had .comghed heartily at that poor fellow, thinking myself above such concerns..... how I payed for my hubris.
One by one batts failed, and spares were found to be lacking.

And then (and the reason for this narration) a pack of stinkies turned up.

The first drag was everything I remember from the first time I smoked - taste was awful, felt disgusting going into my mouth and lungs, and the clouds were lack luster and unsatisfying.
(and only two months in I had already forgotten that you don't need to hit a switch or button to make them work and spent a couple of minutes looking for it)

the disgust I felt was quickly absolved by the next round of beers and bourbons...and scotches....and vodkas...(and in one case a guava bacardi breaser??!!)

The witching hour came and went, the stinkies dwindled and then were gone - and for the first time in weeks i found myself buying a pack i remember feeling the same as i did as a child buying my first underage pack, waiting to get pulled up for it, the shame and yes, even the excitement.

At some point I got home, evidenced only by the fact that I awoke on one of the dogs beds.
In the .comndry.
With my feet hanging outside the back door.
Pants around ankles, but undies thankfully in place.
Monty (my irish wolfhound) looking at me as if to say - "well....bet your proud of yourself. Get off my bed"
And maybe it was just me, but he looked a little dissapointed.

As you do after a big night I ran an inventory before attempting to get up:
Wallet empty? Check.
Pocket full of coins, result of said empty wallet? Check.
Phone? Check. (not actually my phone, but i had one)

I was half way through the "did i get any new tattoos" check when I felt my face - no tattoos, but good lord the stench.
The unrivaled filthy smell of stinkies.
And once I noticed it i could not un-notice it - I reeked, my hands, my clothes - everything just stunk.

I became ill.
Violently.
repeatedly, and in a scene that pays homage to the movie "the Exorcist" everywhere.

(I know I had a chicken parma, but the hot dog and kebab were a complete surprise to me)

I showered with steel wool and detol, and happy to report that whilst the smell is still not 100% gone, it is no longer making me ill.
My lungs hurt though, and walking (I say walking, more of a stagger really) to the man cave I see on the bench my batt case with 4 charge 18350's sitting ready to go.

Irony.

So the point of this?
2 points, 1 question:

Point 1.
Spare batts - take them - nuff said.
Point 2.
Clean clothes are not as important as ensuing you comply with point 1 - important for sure, but if you have to miss one, make it the clean clothes.

The question/
How do i reset my counter thing in my sig?

 

I always KNEW you had Legendary Status within you Skoey ... I feel a small welling of pride in my breast and a slight wetness in my eye ... Allergies .. that's it ..sniff.. must be allergies ...

Proud of you Son !

( well except for the stinkies , but wagon falling is acceptable occasionally )

 

Ha!

You utter cockwomble.


Nice story though. I see you edited out any bits that relate to your peculiar porn fetish.



Moral of the story? Batteries first, pants second.

 

If I'm just going out,make sure batts charged,if I'm goin out drinking,bat charged with spare batt and juice in pocket and usually a 306 just incase coil fails.Hangovers are so much easier now with not smoking

 

epic fail...

 

You've perfectly summed up my worst nightmare.

 

That made my day

 

A tale of woe, but b.comtifully written.

 

won't help you though if you go fishing and think you dropped your reo overboard......

 

Now that was panic stations

 

How do you recon a bloke could get in so much trouble going out with a few mates to watch a bit of puppy porn for christ`s sake?

 

No spliffy???

Disappointed :disgust:

 

Great thing with vaping is how stark the comparison to real cigs is. When you go back for a while, you know you're in hell.